Discipling Your Teen in Quarantine
In this week’s iteration of the Friday Five, we look at some simple steps you can take to help disciple your teen during quarantine. Although these are especially helpful now, they are just a good way to handle things moving forward when we get back to “normal”. And if COVID-19 has revealed anything about living the life of a parent, it might be this: Most parents have grown accustomed to and comfortable with outsourcing their children’s spiritual formation to the Church or Christian school. If you’re honest, you probably relied a bit too much on others to shape the minds and hearts of our kids. But now, school is closed, church is mostly suspended, and it is suddenly up to you to form them spiritually. If you are struggling to re-claim your role as their trusted guide, here are five tips to help you redeem this quarantine time.
- Talk the Talk: One of the things I like about Axis is that they believe that “discipleship happens where conversations happen”. Regardless of the topic, authentic conversations lead to faith-forming opportunities. So keep those conversations going. And remember, as you engage with your kids on everything from sports to social distancing, you won’t agree on everything. That’s okay! Lean into the tension and humbly ask what you can learn from them in the process.
- Walk the Walk: Our kids are always watching, always learning, always soaking in what we do, not just what we say. If the news is causing you anxiety and fear, odds are they are learning to be anxious and fearful themselves. If the stay-at-home orders are breeding arguments, family feuds, and fights, their future home will look likewise. It’s simple (yet difficult): Be the adult you want your kid to become.
- Schedule the Sacred: We’ve all been given a great gift: time. Instead of rushing to work or school, we now have time in the morning to come together to read Scripture, pray, and experience the sacred. You don’t have to do it every day, but schedule regular moments to gather for five or ten minutes. Read through one of the gospels one chapter at a time. Then discuss what you read. It doesn’t need to be overly scholarly, just allow them the space to process God’s Word with you.
- Have One-on-One Time: If you have more than one child, pick an evening or morning during the week to take a walk with each child, just the two of you. Or if the weather is bad, hit a coffee shop’s drive-through for a tasty treat. These intentional moments alone together will build trust, foster intimacy, and show them you are a safe place to come to with their hopes, dreams, and questions.
- Take Off the (Figurative) Mask: You aren’t perfect. Trust me, your kids already know it, so be honest and transparent about your issues. If you mess up, own it and ask for forgiveness. A sure sign of spiritual maturity is learning to admit you don’t have it all together. If you are open about your failings, they will be more willing to share theirs.
I hope that this is helpful and know that I pray for each of you, knowing that you guys are being the best role model to our teenagers that you can be. Life isn’t always perfect, and I promise that your teens understand that. So leverage their understanding and use it to build on your relationship, to make it better. Until next time- Jeremy
